Today was my birthday! 23 years alive on this planet. I’ve been an adult for 5 years now, still haven’t really gotten used to the “adulting” part of it yet. I’m still and will always be a kid at heart.
But being alive for so long has made me go through a lot of experiences. Some of which I wish I knew when I was younger. Would have saved me from a lot of heartache and wasted tears growing up.
Here’s what I’ve learned over time,
1. It’s okay to not have a “squad” of girlfriends.
The movies, the media, the magazines. Everything tells us that if we don’t have a squad of girlfriends to travel the world with then we’re doing something wrong. In my experience (and no offence intended) the more girlfriends you have, the more drama you open yourself up to. It’s completely okay to not have a bunch of girls hovering around you all the time.
2. It’s okay to not have a “best friend”
Let’s just say I have not been lucky in the “best friend” department. Wherever I’d look I’d see two young women who were inseparable and always had their backs which made me feel that I needed one too. But when you put in all your trust and emotions in one single person its calling for a disaster (unless the bond between the two of you is so strong to overcome everything. Then I really envy you). Whoever I’ve labelled my “best friend” has always turned out to be heartbreaking in the end. Makes me feel that it’s all overrated.
3. Time doesn’t mean you know a person.
Knowing someone for x number of years doesn’t mean you know them. Times change and so do people. We are all constantly changing and aren’t the same people we were a year ago. You might think you know someone just because you’ve known them since school but in the end you may get surprised.
4. Holding a grudge never works.
Grudges, we’ve all held one at some point of time in our lives. But there truly isn’t any point in doing it. I’ve realised the minute I forgive and let go of what has happened I feel better both physically and mentally.
5. Forgive, but never forget.
Forgiveness doesn’t mean forgetfulness. Someone may do you wrong. Forgive them but don’t let yourself fall into the same situation again. Learn from it and build yourself up.
6. Above everything else there is family.
There is no bigger bond than that of family. Ever since my father passed away in 2008, it’s just been my mother, brother and I. We may have our disagreements now and then like every family does. But in the end we know who we can fall back on when we need help. Family is always there no matter what happens in your life.
7. Stay away from toxic people.
Sometimes you meet a person who was once close to you but has turned toxic. Stay away from such a person. No matter how much it may hurt, don’t waste your time and emotions on someone who is hurting you mentally.
8. It’s okay to take a break sometimes.
We all try to hustle harder every single day. Sometimes it’s okay to take a break if you aren’t feeling up to it. If you feel you need a break from a person, stay away. If work is stressing you out, take the day off. Taking a break rejuvenates the body in unspeakable ways.
9. Life may not turn out as you expect.
I would always try to map out my life. Making a plan made me feel I am in control. But that’s not how it works. Sometimes life has a way to change and move in ways you cannot understand but in the end everything has a purpose.
10. Everything happens for the best.
What I’ve noticed is things always happen for the best. You didn’t get the job you really wanted, but later on found out that if you did you’d have to move out of the country. You missed your bus to work, but if you did catch that bus you’d get stuck in a traffic jam for hours. We may not know it at the time, but whatever happens to us will always happen for a reason. We might not know that reason soon and it may take us years to find out. But every thing that happens, happens for the best.
11. Don’t live your life to please others.
Live your life and do things not because someone told you to, do it because you want to do it for yourself. Trust me, knowing you’re doing something because you wanted to makes all the difference.
12. Don’t care about what people think.
Trying to always be in everyone’s good books is a HUGE and tiring task. Instead, use that energy in doing what you love and never bother about what will people say. People will always talk, they have nothing else to do. Want to wear that dress? Wear it! Want to colour your hair a dramatic mermaid colour? Do it! Will the general public criticise you for it?They might. But if they do so what? Don’t let being afraid of what will people think about you prevent you from living your life!
(As I write this I realise it’s going to be a long post so I’ve decided to split it into two different posts. I’ll upload part 2 soon)
Do you agree with my thoughts so far? Have you learned any thing in your life that you wish you could tell your younger self?